Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Chosen & Approved: Straightening the heart bent toward people-pleasing

"Peer-rejection does crooked things to a young girl’s heart."

As I read this line from Jeanne Takenaka, I sit at my dining room table, nodding. It sure does.

I'm 33, but after enduring a few rounds of peer-rejection as a child, I'm still straightening some of those crooked things out of my heart. Or, more accurately, Jesus is doing the straightening.

The crooked things look bad on paper: insecurity, people-pleasing, perfectionism, low self-esteem.

But in my heart? They draw me because they look safe. They look like a way to make and keep friends. They look like a way to get that coveted stamp of approval.

Is your heart bent out of shape, too? Maybe it was peer-rejection. Maybe it was something else. Whatever it was, I know this "crooked things" struggle is real. But I also know Jesus offers us healing. He offers to reshape and restore our hearts using his gentle, nail-pierced hands.

Jesus didn't create us to sell ourselves short. He didn't create us to mimic or please other flawed humans.

This is why I'm so looking forward to the Chosen and Approved Series, in which Jeanne Takenaka, Mary Geisen, and myself will explore those tendencies that look so safe but come at a high price--the price of our own value.

We hope you'll join us for this six-week series as we hand our hearts back to Jesus once again to straighten those crooked things.

Start here, with this beautiful, heart-felt post from Jeanne, and then join us Tuesdays through November 8th for each new installment. Click here for a list of all the posts that are live so far.

Chosen and Approved: Straightening the heart bent toward people-pleasing - via @novelwritergirl @jeannetakenaka


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, Christina! It's certainly a message I need to be reminded of often, and my prayer is that it'll help others, too.

  2. The story of my life im afraid. I said to a friend recently isn't it funny how we never think something we do is of value Until it had the approval of someone. Anyone. It can't just be ok because we thought so. And how much trouble it has caused Us all. It's that fear of man is a snare idea. The fear of all this rejection traps us at every corner until our lives are counterfeit offerings that Get lived just for others.

    1. Truth and authenticity are so important in our relationship with Jesus. We're each created for specific work. Letting man and not God direct us does lead to counterfeit offerings. Such a convicting way of putting it! Praise God, he pursues us to have a relationship with him above all others so we can live the life he calls us to!

  3. Emily, I can totally relate. My thoughts have been tainted by childhood peer-rejection and even at my age I am still trying to fit in. called people-pleasing.
    I recently read we are not to try to create who we think we are, but imitate Christ and he will make us who we really are. So, my goal is to stay in the Word and become who Christ made me to be.

    1. That is excellent advice, Michelle! Thanks so much for stopping by!