Monday, May 19, 2014

The Stupid Things People Say

People say the stupidest things. Ever notice that? I'm sure you have, but even though you know people say stupid things, I bet you are as guilty as me in letting comments like this truly hurt  you.  Those remarks dig in and leave a lasting impression that eventually turns into a belief about yourself. 

Want to hear one that was said to me?  "Are you pregnant? Because you're starting to look a little soft. " Wonderful. Thanks for noticing I've gained weight.

Oh, here's another one: "You always walk around looking so evil." Evil? Really?

And one more to lighten things up. "You look like Dolly Parton. Well (motioning at his own neck) from here up." Not a blow to the self esteem, but wildly inappropriate, coming from a co-worker.

All of these comments were said a long time ago - years ago - but I still recall them. I know who said them and even where and under what circumstances. Have they formed my own beliefs about myself? Who knows. I'd like to say not, but if I have let a comment roll around my head for that long, what are the odds that it hasn't influenced me?

Recently, I witnessed someone say something that really hurt a person I love. It was another voice telling her to believe a negative picture she was already developing about herself. I wish I could express to her how wrong the comment was. I tried. I also said to the person that what he said was horrible and that he can't say things like that. Still, the damage was done.

It makes me angry that the people who say those things do it without even thinking. The words cross their lips and they often don't think of them again, even as you start to question you worth or beauty or intelligence or, worse, form your core beliefs about yourself around the hard, scarred knot those comments leave behind. For you and me both, let me just say it's time to stop letting those words in. Forget about them as quickly as the person who carelessly tossed them out. You are beautiful, smart, and worthwhile. You were specifically fashioned by an all-knowing, infinitely intelligent creator God who wanted you just as you are. Choose to believe what God has to say about you and your worth. Forget the garbage from people who speak carelessly.

And for everyone's sake, let's start watching our tongues!

Love,
Your Sister

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